(The following article, written by Billy Keane, appeared in the Irish Independent on Friday 6th October 2006.)

MY supervisor, the kindly Mike Lawlee, MD of Lawlee Fine Arts and Antiquities, confided: “I was badly caught. I’m stuck with a load of second-hand mattresses. Took ‘em as a favour. Came out of a hostel. I can let you have ‘em for free.”

The market for second-hand mattresses, as you might have guessed, is not exactly buoyant. Mike cleverly Greengrassed on the rest of the contents of the hostel, but he was stuck with the mattresses.

Eric Browne of Browne’s Bookmakers placed me under Mike’s tutelage. I was to be trained in as a bookie’s runner in the ring at Tralee races on Wednesday last.

Before racing there was turmoil when Lawlee forced the other bookies to move their pitches along a metre so as to ensure a member of The Firm, Jack O’Rourke, would avoid the potential overflow from a neighbouring umbrella. There was pandemonium, but Jack had to be looked after.

Jack runs a sporting pub in Abbeyfeale, has diabetes and is now down to three toes.

“Billy, this carry-on keeps me going and sure Eric should be on the stage.” But he is Jack, he is.

Eric doesn’t realise it but people stand around his pitch just to watch him in action.

When a rush of punters approached to have a bet on the same horse all at the same time he shouted: “Take ye’er time, take ye’er time. One dog, one bone. One dog, one bone.” He took every bet.

My job was to give Eric the prices of the horses and the non-runners. It’s not as easy as it seems. There were 20 runners in the first and I informed Eric No 7 – Deedeetee – was a participant. Deedeetee is named after a powder used for killing fleas in mattresses.

“Don’t mention mattresses or you’ll set Lawlee off,” shushed Eric when I passed on the trivia.

I caused total confusion. Dedeetee was actually a non-runner. Lawlee uttered just one word: “Disappear.”

Eric never shouts the odds like the other bookies as he wants to spare his voice for roaring at The Firm.

Spike Murphy from Abbeyfeale is another key member of The Firm. I’m not exactly sure what he does but it involves a lot of whispering and maybe laying off big-money bets. He never tells anyone his business.

But this is a serious outfit. Eric and his son Berkie front up one of the most successful bookmaking firms in the country. They hold enormous sums of money and always back their own judgement. They are seldom wrong.

Berkie arrives late and whispers he was off trying to undo an SP job. There’s a lot of whispering in this game.

An SP job is a ‘starting price job’. A horse is backed in the betting shops in small amounts so as not to attract attention, thereby keeping the price down. Maybe that’s where Michael O’Leary learned how to buy up airlines on the cute.

Berkie laid off most of the money bet at The Firm’s three shops with other bookies – bookmaking has more to do with accounting and intelligence-gathering than gambling.

Berkie invites me to “jump up on the box”. Promotion after only two races.

I had the honour of accepting a bet from the greatest player I have ever seen, Bomber Liston. After Midnight was the horse.

The Bomber winked at me. I’m not sure if it was ethical but I dropped €40 in the bag and called the bet on After Midnight down to myself. The punters piled on. After Midnight got up on the line. It was a bad result for The Firm.

Gents Kieran Donaghy and Aidan O’Mahony came round with Sam and, well-funded, I left my post for the rest of the day. The Firm looked relieved.

Later on I learned I mistakenly paid a punter too much cash. And no one ever hands back over-payments to bookies. Eric refused to take the money. He settled for a pint, even though The Firm lost heavily on the day.

That’s one of the reasons the Brownes are so successful. There’s no meanness in them whatsoever.

The Firm might have lost but Lawlee was happy. Sometimes the good are also lucky. He had a million-to-one winner. Word of the bedding bargain reached the right ears and an innovative farmer from Atlantic-lashed Ballyheigue Bay snapped up the mattresses, “for coastal erosion”. It was a great relief to all of us.

Winner alright. Billy Keane

© Irish Independent
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