Originaly Posted Monday, November 18, 2002
The sporting trials and tribulations of local Manchester United fan (as in fanatic) and Abbeyfeale Rugby Team bagman, Gerard Foley, increased and multiplied to an alarming degree at the weekend.
On Saturday, in a nightmare scenario, his beloved Utd were hammered 3-1 by hated Man City in the local derby at Maine Road. Twenty-four hours later, Gerard himself fell foul of the referee as he patrolled the line in the Charleville V Abbeyfeale Munster Junior League match.
It appears that Gerard did not quite see eye-to-eye with the official over a particularly questionable decision, which led to the first Charleville try. Somewhat foolishly, he allowed his true feelings to show.
"Hi ref!" he shouted your only a p**** d***** x*****, so you are! "
The referee, quite understandably, took a certain amount of umbrage at such a slur on his good name and impartial interpretation of the laws of rugby football and immediately brandished a red card and banished the miscreant from the sideline.
However, Gerard refuse to budge. Anarchy reigned for a while, as both the referee and Gerard engaged in a battle of wills. Gerard declined to vacate the field of play and the referee refused to restart the match. Abbeyfeale Skipper, Paudie Naughton, was called upon to act as mediator and restore order.
"Gerard" he entreated "will you please get off the pitch."
"Paudie, you’re another p***** d***** x*****, so you are!" replied the unrepentant caffler.
Order was eventually restored following an urgent phone call from Old Trafford, although Gerard failed to apologize and threatened never to play for Ireland again. (He is reading too many books - so he is - and needs to get out more)
At a specially convened kangaroo court in Jack O`Rourke`s bar later (much later!) that night, the matter was discussed in some detail and with much hilarity. Gerard was fined ?250,000 and banned for five matches. It was decided that the affair merited a mention on the local web site. Gerard was asked if he had a message for any of his relatives in New York, or any of his cronies presently domiciled in The Bowery, Skid Row or ensconced in Tir na nOg, who might chance to log on.
"You can tell them all to p***** d***** x*****, so you can!" was his reply.
Roy Keane would have been impressed.